I am currently sitting on a train headed to Boston because I am working at ResNet this week. I worked at ResNet last week. I will be working at ResNet for at least the next 5 weeks. I will be moving into my dorm and then will be doing school stuff for the next 4 months. Then I will be on co-op for 6 months. Continue that for another 2 years and I will have graduated from Northeastern and will be looking for a job probably at some tech company. Will do that for number to bigger number years. Maybe move to another company. Maybe create my own. Maybe die in some tragic accident. If I don’t die I’ll grow older, retire at some point. Maybe do something with the wealth I have built up over the years. Maybe be homeless. And then I die and it really doesn’t matter much.

I don’t think you should ever go to long doing something you don’t enjoy doing. Sometimes you have to suck it up and do something you would rather not do but that’s part of life. Maybe I should have my summer to myself and just do what I want to do instead of working at ResNet. The only reason I am pursing a major in computer science is that I enjoy programming (to an extent). I can’t see myself doing anything else that I would enjoy doing for the rest of my god damn life.

This kind of sounds like a hedonistic lifestyle, just do what you enjoy but why wouldn’t you try to do what you enjoy. After you get past your responsibilities and obligations if you live your life doing something you hate what’s the point? To enjoy the money you built up for 10-20 years late in your life when you may not be able to do much with it.

This post mainly is me asking myself what my motivation for life is. Why do I do what I do. I think my views come from the fact that I see myself as a person that somewhat matters. Kind of like a pixel. A dead pixel on a screen is really annoying but you can live with it. I don’t want to see myself as a speck of dust on the screen. You don’t matter at all. Whatever happens to you is inconcequential. What motivation would there be to do anything (besides doing it for yourself). If you truly don’t matter why would you do what you do?