Living Alone

I didn't really know what to expect going into this. Yeah, I knew that I would have to do my own dishes and cook my own food but I already did that so living alone couldn't be any different, right? I've been living alone now for just under 3 months, 82 days if you want to be exact. I'm still kind of surprised how quickly the weeks have gone by. I guess this is my third time working, my first co-op I lived with a family member during the worst Boston winter and my second co-op I lived with my long time roommates. This time it's different for a whole bunch of reasons. Like before, the weekdays feel like they mush together. I don't really think about the fact that there's nobody else in my house, I'm more concerned about feeding myself, again.

Back in Boston I lived with 4 really great people. My decision to live alone was a mixture of I don't really want to deal with other peoples shit in my living space and I don't really want to try and live with somebody I don't know. Living with somebody else teaches you much more about that person, some would say too much, I am not part of that some. Maybe living alone teaches you way more about yourself. I don't know if it does because it's only been three months, but I've learned some things so far. The thing I realized not too long ago is that there are no rules. There's nobody to tell you that you can't order pizza at 2 in the morning. There's nobody to tell you to turn the TV off and go to bed because it's 2 in the morning. You can leave as many dishes as you want in the sink. You and you alone are responsible for feeding yourself and when you finally get around to it you can eat dessert first. It's a lot power.

It's also a lot of responsibility. I don't recommend buying new plates to replace the dirty plates that you don't want to wash. I don't recommend eating dessert first. Go ahead and order that 2 am pizza though, you deserve it. It's great that you don't have to argue about who left their dishes in the sink because you already know who's dishes they are. Apartment is dirty? It's your fault. Bored? You can't just walk 10-20 feet and bother somebody else anymore. And at points it is really nice, because there are no rules. Staying up on the computer late at night will not keep anybody else up.

The alone part can be a bit much at points though. If you're not always busy and out of your room sometimes being home for too long, alone, feels weird. There isn't always someone easily accessible to bother. People can ignore your texts, it's hard to ignore somebody who's sitting right next to you, asking what are you doing for the 5th time in the last hour. Typically bothering your roommates is the last resort but when you live alone that last lifeline is gone, you have to figure out how to entertain yourself after you've read the entire internet for the 3rd time that day.

I haven't regretted living alone yet though. I don't think I will either. Hopefully. I've been trying to get out of the apartment on weekends. If I do happen to stay home I'll usually be busy with another random, pointless, coding project. It's hard to imagine my life, living alone, 5 years from now. I usually only have pretty concrete plans 2 years in advance. 2 years is manageable to plan for, but because I'm in a new city I can't really imagine what living alone will be like 2 years from now. Maybe I'll stop going out and I'll hate my life. Maybe I'll stop doing my dishes and I'll max out my credit card on new plates. I just remembered paper plates exist. They suck though so I'll still max out my credit card on ceramic plates. Maybe I'll slip while getting into my bathtub and I'll die because I live alone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Maybe I'll be perfectly fine.

Clearly this is way too much responsibility for me.