Fueling the Blaze
. . . I fucked up back there didn’t I . . .
She opens the door and walks out onto the roof.
Somebody else is up here. Ignore it.
It is lightly misting. She looks out and sees someone leaning against the railing. She walks up beside him.
Shit, it’s her. Why is she even up here?
“Hi” he mumbles. She notices he is eating a poptart. “Hey…what are you doing up here?” she asked.
I don’t know. Clearing my head? Waiting to go back home? Trying to come up with something to say to you?
“…eating a poptart…” he said back. “I mean why are you up here?” she said slightly annoyed.
I don’t know. I just made a fool of myself and I wanted to get away from the party?
“I don’t know…I like eating my poptarts while looking out on the skyline”. He had been looking out on the misty skyline ever since she got onto the roof.
Grrrreat response. Why can’t I be more like my roommate?
She turned towards the skyline as well.
Should I say something? Probably. I don’t know what to say. Shit.
After a couple of seconds she turns towards him again and says, “Are you enjoying the party?”
Yes, of course I am. That’s why I’m down there being a super social butterfly…
As he put another piece of poptart in his mouth he said, “I mean this poptart is pretty good”. She didn’t bother asking him anything else.
Fuck it. I never know what to say. Ummm…
A few seconds later he asks, “Why are you up here?”. “I needed some fresh air…I guess” she says after thinking for a couple seconds. “Are you enjoying the party?” he asks her. She turns towards the skyline again, “Yeah…I’m having fun…can I have some?”
Damn it. This is the last piece. Fine…
He takes the last piece of poptart out of the wrapper and hands it to her. She puts the piece in her mouth. Strawberry.
It probably would be way more interesting if I said something. Almost anything really. I don’t know what to say though. I wonder what would happen if ninjas attacked us. Honestly, we would probably die. Fucking ninjas. I kind of want more poptart. NO. BURRITO. Oh how much I would give to have a burrito right now. Shit I have that paper due on Tuesday. I probably can get a burrito after class and then work on it…or I’m just going to watch videos for two hours while eating. I wonder what shes thinking. Probably should say something still. What do girls like? I know what I like. Burritos. I probably could eat burritos every day for like forever and be fine with it. Maybe I should ask her to get a burrito with me at some point. She would probably say no. She probably doesn’t find me that interesting. This clearly isn’t helping. Or maybe she would say no because she doesn’t like burritos. But who doesn’t like burritos. I wonder if I could persuade the ninjas not to kill us by offering them a burrito. I would be like “Hey wait. We have this thing called burritos.” And they would stop and look at me funny for a second and I would be like, “If you don’t kill us I can show you what it is, they are fucking delicious”. And then he is like “Dude, I know what a fucking burrito is”. Then he kills me. And she’s like, “Really, he thought ninjas wouldn’t know what burritos are”
They stand on the misty roof in silence for a couple more minutes. “I’m going to head back inside” she says.
Fucking great. I should have said something. Ugh. It would be weird if I said something now…
He doesn’t say anything. She walks to the door and looks back at him for a couple seconds. Waiting.
I’m just always so nervous and never know what to say. I always know what I’m going to say to a burrito. “I’m going to eat you”. Then I eat it. Wait I didn’t hear the door open. Is she still up here?
He continues to stare at the skyline.
The door still didn’t open. She’s probably checking her phone. Fuck it. I’m going to talk to her.
. . .