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šŸ™‹šŸ¾

My last day of coop was the last Friday in August. It pretty much was like any other day of work. During my stay a few people had left for various reasons. My departure was a little different because it was planned from the beginning. The day I was hired I had a planned leave date. As long as I didn't šŸ’„ fuck up šŸ’„ too much I would leave at the end of August. I think a planned ending is much easier to process than an unplanned one. It isn't a shock šŸ˜±, it isn't a surprise šŸ˜², the end was known from a point in the past šŸ˜Ž.

That doesn't mean it isn't completely stress free šŸ˜…, endings and changes can still suck šŸ˜„. Routine can bring a sense of comfort, wake up šŸ˜“, go to work šŸ˜“, go home šŸ˜“, sleep šŸ˜“, repeat šŸ˜“. It's easy šŸ’šŸ¾, it's formulaic šŸ™†šŸ¾, it doesn't require much thought šŸ¤”. Changing the routine can be hard, and the longer the routine has been in place the harder it can be to change. I was only on coop for 8 months, a relatively short period of time compared to the amount of time I've been in college, or even formal education. I've pretty much been in school for the last 17 years of my life. Tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of my college education šŸ˜°.

Endings are also bittersweet. Leaving coop was a mixture of relief šŸ˜… and sadness šŸ˜„. As stressful as it was sometimes being able to solve problems on a day to day basis is very rewarding šŸ˜. I pretty much dedicated myself to a singular goal for 8 months, I was leaving in the middle of a new project. I felt a little empty after leaving but I also knew working there prepared me for future endeavors.

And that's the upside to endings, it can mark beginnings. I've gotten into the habit of reformatting my computer šŸ’» right before the school year starts. It also happens to coincide with the latest releases of Windows which is pretty helpful. My important files are backed up, I always have a chance to save anything important, and then I can start fresh. And by fresh I mean installing all the crap I had installed before šŸ™ƒ. But I do get a chance to go over what I do and don't need. It's easy to get caught up in a bad routine because it's routine, because it's what we've done forever. It's always important to take time to reflect and change if necessary šŸ¤”.

I would like to think I've changed for the "better" over the last 4 years of college. Better is hard to quantify šŸ¤”, is it the amount of people I've helped, the quantity of lives I've improved, the number of small four šŸ˜ŗ legged šŸ¶ animals šŸ¹ I've saved? (I'm also partial to saving two legged šŸ£, aquatic šŸ¬, and non mammalian šŸ•· creatures.) Maybe it's becoming more comfortable with who I am šŸ¤—, accepting my limitations šŸ˜Œ and findings creative ways around them šŸ’”, finding my weaknesses and improving on them šŸ’ŖšŸ¾, or maybe it's just getting surgery and becoming taller šŸ“ (fact: taller people are better, larger numbers are better šŸ’Æ, it's simple geometry šŸ™ƒ).

I keep telling myself and other people that I plan on moving šŸ›« to California šŸŒ right after I graduate. My thought process is that the more I believe it's going to happen the more I'll actually try to make it happen. If I do make it out there I also know that I'm not planning on staying for more than 4 years. Plans do change but at least I have another somewhat known end date šŸ•“.

And then what's next? The plan is to come back to Boston šŸ›¬. But who knows what could happen in the next 4 years šŸ’šŸ¾. I don't even know what could happen in the next 8 months šŸ™ŽšŸ¾. I just need to make sure I have short term plans, long term plans, and a plan for the end.

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