Adjusting

I now live in Seattle. This post is for Saturday, June 3, 2017.

It's been 6 days since I left Boston. I haven't really thought about being gone. I've been so focused on getting setup here I haven't had the time yet. Surprisingly it is possible to get an apartment in two days, you just need to be prepared. I had an Airbnb lined up and I had almost 10 apartment visits in two days scheduled a week in advance. Once I lugged my suitcases over from my Airbnb and closed the door on my new apartment I knew I couldn't celebrate yet. I had to unpack, I had to makeshift a bed on the floor from whatever I had in my suitcases. I'm actually still sleeping on the floor because my bed arrives on Tuesday. I had to start buying things for my apartment, the essentials, like toilet paper. And a shower curtain surprisingly.

Right now I'm just adjusting. Exploring the city while slowly collecting things, getting to know streets, trying to turn my echoing walls into something more friendly, more homely. Having no organization because everything is on the floor while trying to stay organized as I collect more things. Finding a new place to eat because my cooking utensils, or even plates, haven't arrived yet.

I also haven't thought about leaving Boston because it's a little overwhelming. I don't live there anymore, there's no take backsies, I can't really hop on a plane again and say "JK let's go back to the way things were". I can only adjust and look ahead, what do I want my living room to look like, should I buy a larger dinner table for guests, wait I only kind of know 3 people here, what's my next desktop going to look like, oh wait I also need to pay student loans. And of course, the reason I'm here, working.

And I'm still adjusting to living alone, for the first time ever. The only sounds around me right now are the occasional plane passing over, the continuous sound of the vent, the soft whir of my laptop fan, and me. Typing away right now. No more parents to tell you what to do, even though my mom has called me every day so far, no more random roommate noises at 2 in the afternoon, or 2 in the morning, no more wondering which person walked into your apartment. But it's good and bad. No more nighttime longboard trips, no more debates about the classifications of a sandwich, no more hugging the people you care about the most.

And hopefully I'll see those people again in the future but things change and nothing is certain. The occasional text, Facebook, or Slack message will have to suffice for now. Check-ins that will probably grow more infrequent as time passes.

I'm always teetering on the line between being absolutely terrified of the future and looking forward to it. The future is scary, because it's unknown. But that also makes it exciting, who knows what great things could happen. Right now I'm trying to think about the latter, looking ahead to what's next.